25 April 2010

Panic...arm transplant needed!

Is it me?

Here I am, a fully grown up human bean, on the verge of finishing work. I've been doing this bloody woodworking lark, supposedly as recreation (ha!) for more years than I care to remember...and yet the very thought of simple glue-up is still enough to break me out into a cold sweat.

I'd finished off preparing the inside faces of the timber with a couple of coats of Osmo Poly-X followed with some wax (as I normally do) and as it was a pleasant sunny day yesterday, the oil had dried quickly so I decided to 'go for it'. Girding my loins (now there's something for your imagination) I thought to myself..."Robert, my lad, you're going to do the job proper this time and not make a complete arse of it"

Right...fat chance.

I took all precautions though. The twin curved, bearer blocks were made from the finest, straightest ash that ever was and were covered in some of Mr Kellogg's premium cereal box cardboard (just in case the oak bruised) I even screwed them together as I thought it's easier to hold two blocks in place rather than four...init?

Ha!..you've guessed what's coming?

I swept and cleaned the 'shop and prepared all the bits needed, glue, spreader, hammer (I'd even numbered the wedges for each slot...how sad is that?) so applying a smear of glue to the inside faces, I part way pushed the pieces together, ready for the cramps.

"This is going to be easy" I thought...big, big wrong!

Clearly one of KH's gremlins had defeated the ash cloud and made it across the pond, because there was no way on God's good earth that I could hold both the blocks in place...and then apply pressure to one side without the inevitable slippage...and then apply the other cramp in the right place and wind on the pressure.

It was just impossible...until I had a blinding revelation and held the blocks in place with a Bessey cramp that had a deeper throat. It was only after that was I able to get both the sash cramps in place and tap in the wedges.

If you think this was complicated, just wait 'til you see the cramping arrangements to get the top glued in place...

1 comment:

The Village Carpenter said...

Ugh, I feel your pain. But on a brighter note--the stool looks spiffy!