14 November 2010

Anti-G

That time of year in late December is fast approaching once again and it's time for me to start to compile a moderate list of those desirables that I'd like to see dropped into my stocking by the big man on Christmas Eve. As there's nothing quite so good as a little bribery and corruption, I'm going to leave (as always) a small glugful of something warming by the chimney and a tasty little nibble or two for the reindeer's parked on the roof above...but here's the question.

How does the sleigh balance on the ridge, along it or across?...and what happens if the roof is too short for all the beasties and the sleigh?

This has always been a puzzle to me ever since I was a little lad, because when I go and examine it in the morning, there's never any damage. No loose or dislodged tiles, broken guttering, in fact I've even gone so far as to look on the patio on Christmas morning for some reindeer poo...nothing, nowt, not a sausage.

The other alternative, which is equally plausible, is that the rig is tethered to the chimney and hangs there horizontally in space, just hovering stationary forty feet over the garden and fish pond. Quite frankly, I think it's tosh and I don't buy into that one at all! He'd have to have invented some sort of anti-gravity device, but it would go some way to explaining though, just why there's no damage to the roof and how he'd manage to park about sixty feet's worth of animals and a heavy sleigh full of presents with seemingly, no ill effects. A puzzle to be sure.

But I digress. This year though, I've embraced the full power of t'interweb and have decided to go for an Amazon Wish List. A swift perusal will show that as well as one or two trinkets for the 'shop, I've included a few CD's and a some other items.

Back to the big guy in the red suit though. If the sleigh is tethered forty feet out over the garden, how does he get to the chimney?

Chopper?..that one doesn't cut the mustard either, 'cos that would blow all the roof tiles off and make a hell of racket and besides, I never hear a thing...

1 comment:

Mitchell said...

I'm hoping Santa brings me one of those metal containers of English Shortbread Christmas Cookies that me mom used to get from ov'r 'ome every year when I was a kid.